Sunday, April 27, 2008

From the desk of the Bard

Dear Ms N,

I am getting sick and tired of hearing you berate my good name, especially with that kind of language. I chose to layer my plays with allusion and subtext and its not my fault that you are lazy and want everything to be made bloomin' obvious. I know you love my work, I have heard you say it many a time and you are even doing it for your mini-dissertation (I will help, for a fee) I even know that you love one of my sonnets so much you've memorised it like a right little geek. For your exam question, it clearly requires you to investigate for yourself why Macbeth and Othello committed their crimes of furor. Further of our talk of the other day, I am not willing to go 'back over the plays, and like write in the answers' because this would make my works of genius like this:

Lady Macbeth: Forsooth, but why should we kill?
Macbeth: Because of my state of mind. I am clearly deranged. This is explored through my actions. Especially in the banquet scene. Why not LOOK at that for hints? Huh? And those witchy bitches - totally messing with me.
Lady Macbeth: '' ''

And I don't want to change the plot of Romeo and Juliet either. I know you can't watch the end of the Baz Luhrmann movie but its not my fault. Toughen up a bit.

Comparing you to a summer's day,
Shakespeare.

PS. And stop calling my assistant for a signed photo, for the LAST time I do NOT look like Joseph Fiennes. It was a MOVIE.

2 comments:

Beanie said...

Aw, Shakespeare can be such a spoilsport sometimes! I was bugging him for some pointers on Hamlet's true state of mind the other day but to no avail. At least you got a letter back - you should feel privileged! ;)

Caroline said...

You've just made me splutter tea over my laptop. Luckily it was only a teeny sip as it's hot... Thanks for making me laugh out loud! Cx