We are the people from the other side of your mirror. We will give you a minute to adjust to this.
Oh, already? You took that rather well. We just wanted to properly introduce yourself and suggest some things. For starters, don't most teenagers grow out of singing into a hairbrush. We had to put up with you singing Don't Speak from an earlier age. You are no Gwen Stefani, you weren't back then and you aren't now. You are certainly no Hollaback girl. You don't even sing, you lip-sing which is progressively worse as it suggests that you imagine you are quite good. We also wondered how you were managing to succeed academically when all we ever seen you do is prance about to IAMX or giggle your way through Mighty Boosh commentaries. How about some Hardy huh?
We also remember your infatuation with your prom dress, and how you tried it on every night for about 3 months before the prom. We are additionally quite used to your constant frown of disapproval, we would have thought after 20 years you would have found some self-confidence. I think the best we have ever seen from you was a slight nod, well until you discovered that you were no Vince Noir and hats were left to other, more visually appealing folk.
Yours reflectively, (get it!)
P.S. And we did see...you know....that time. Yeah. Lord.